•Part 10
Ephesians 5:18-6:4
"And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," Ephesians 6:4. In the previous Scriptures we looked at each role in the family; each was commanded to do something that they had not been doing. This command was immediate with steps following to abound in the Scriptures. In verse 22, wives are commanded to submit to their own husbands; in verse 25, husbands are commanded to love their wives; in Ephesians 6:1, children are commanded to obey their parents. This is a Biblical family. This is not the result of the workings of our flesh; we've established the fact that of our own flesh we cannot and will not do these things. We are by nature selfish and unforgiving. When you harbor unforgiveness note that you are acting like the old man. Unforgiveness is not of God. Being a Biblical family is the result of being filled, controlled, by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). When we are controlled by the Holy Spirit love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance will flow forth from us. This will be towards others, and especially towards our families. Let's get into verse 4.
"And", this is a continuation of the previous instructions concerning the family. We must remember when Paul wrote the inspired Word that there weren't any chapters or verse numbers. These were added later by the translators to help us. There isn't a break in the teaching here but instead a continuous flow.
"Ye fathers"; It is obvious this word "fathers" refers the male parent, but it is also used of parents in general. "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel," I Timothy 5:8. People often use this verse as speaking just to the father, but if you keep it in context, it is in the middle of verses speaking of widows. Notice the word any; it is speaking of any Christian. In this context it is speaking of any Christian that has a widow in their family. They are supposed to take care of them and if they don't, they are worse than an infidel, an unbeliever. We see the same principal here in Ephesians 6:4, as at times there is not a father in the home due to death or divorce. The parents are not to provoke their children to wrath.
"Provoke" means to make angry; to offend; to incense; to enrage. W.D. 1828 edition. This provoking can be done by offensive words which cause injury and can incite a war. When you have a war inside the home there is division and a house divided will not stand. War is not pleasant and people are scarred for life in a war. This word "provoke" is a present imperative and is a command to do something in the future and involves continuous and repeated action. This also carries with it the implication of stopping an action that has been taking place. Scriptures are telling us to stop provoking our children and we are to do this continually. Again, here we are told not to do something, we are told not to provoke our children to wrath.
"Wrath" means to anger alongside, i.e. enrage: -anger, provoke to wrath. A great and terrible example of this is with David and his son Absalom. David was very busy doing kingdom work and didn't take time with his children, neither did he discipline them. He also gave a bad example when he went into Bathsheba and had her husband Uriah killed. David's son, Amnon, raped his half-sister Tamar who was Absalom's sister; David didn't discipline Amnon. This enraged Absalom who planned a dinner party and invited all of David's sons; at the appointed time Absalom had Amnon killed. Absalom ran away and then came back later, only he couldn't see the kings face; this enraged an already spoiled man to the point of hatred toward his father and Absalom conspired against his father David to overthrow and kill David. His conspiracy wasn't successful and Absalom also was killed. David mourned. When you look at this you see David provoked his son to wrath; the outcome was his son hated him.
If you want your children to hate you give them everything they want; don't discipline them; don't ever tell them no; tell them the bad things in their life is not their fault but always someone else's; don't give them any responsibilities; and let them be the boss. Let them be the one to give the orders and when they get older they will blame you for everything. This is one side of provoking your children to wrath. The other side is to be overbearing and setting your expectations of that child at unattainable levels. People are different; children are little people, so they are different also. One of your children may excel in sports, the other may excel academically. You can't expect one to be just like the other and when you do you will provoke them to wrath, to anger. Encourage them to excel in all areas, and encourage them in the areas they excel.
"But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him," Genesis 18:19. We have a great responsibility to bring up our children, to raise them. We must understand that we are not raising up little angels. Children are born totally depraved. "And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil," John 3:19. We are dealing with little devils. It is our responsibility to train them up. The most important thing we can teach them is the Gospel. We are to teach them the Law of God and teach them that they are transgressors of the Law. "Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith," Galatians 3:24. We are to teach them that they cannot keep the law, and that they are sinners. "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord," Romans 6:23. "But God commended his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us," Romans 5:8. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek," Romans 1:6.
Always give Bible and don't ever push for a decision. Multitudes of kids have made professions of faith simply to get their parents off their backs. Then their parents are in denial when those same kids are living like the devil later in life. They say they are just backslidden, when Biblically, they are lost. Our first responsibility in training up our children is to tell them about Jesus Christ. We are to instill the Word of God in them. You may have the question on when to start; start when they are in the womb. Never stop until you or them are in the grave. This doesn't mean that you brow beat them, but that you lovingly give them the Word of God. Lord willing, we will pick up here next week.
Send questions and comments to richardsonbaptistchurch@gmail.com.
Soli Deo Gloria.
