•Part 4
Ephesians 5:18-6:4
We ended last week looking at the conflict we have with each other, and with Scriptures. We went back to Genesis 3 and 4. We looked at the word "submit" in Ephesians 5:21. "Submitting" in this verse is the Greek word "Hupotasso", and means to submit oneself, to be subject, to be obedient. We talked about how we naturally rebel against this, therefore; we naturally rebel against God's Word. God's Word is our authority. We must submit to God's authority, and in doing so we will be in the bounds of our God given roles, which we will see in the coming verses.
If we do not submit to Scripture, we will find ourselves in constant fighting and feuding. Instead of being a family unit you end up with selfish little units under one roof, a house divided, and it will not stand. Where did this rebellion come from? "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned," Romans 5:12. "For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous," Romans 5:19.
We are born into total depravity, we are born in rebellion to God and His Word; then by His grace He saves us, but after we are saved we still struggle with these things. We see ourselves in light of Romans 7 in doing what we don't want to do and not doing what we want to do (Romans 7:23-25). It is our responsibility to crucify our own flesh. "Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen," I John 5:21. "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve," Joshua 24:15.
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God," Ephesians 5:21. Again, submitting in this verse means to submit oneself, to be subject, to be obedient. To allow oneself to be in subjection, to be obedient. To grant, give, or yield. I think we can all agree this is hard, even impossible to do. Apart from being controlled by the Holy Spirit this is impossible to do. This is part of the spiritual warfare that we are in. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)" II Corinthians 10:3-4. Let's go back to Ephesians 5:18, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit." Notice the Bible says nothing of us trying to live in the power of the flesh, but in the power of the Spirit. Our flesh is influenced by all these things around us, the Holy Spirit is not. The Holy Spirit will lead, guide, and direct us according to the Word of God and will always point us to Christ and not ourselves. Our dependency is upon Him.
A Spirit filled family is not fighting, bickering, arguing, amongst each other. A Spirit filled family is not in competition with each other trying to outdo each other and are not glad when someone fails. A Spirit filled family does not pattern themselves after this present evil world. A Spirit filled family shows the fruits of being Spirit filled: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23). A Spirit filled family does: verses 19-21. A Spirit filled family is not selfish, and forgives. Unforgiveness hurts. Unforgiveness binds the one who is holding unforgiveness. Bound to the past and therefore cannot go forward in the present. No joy. How many families are in utter turmoil because of unforgiveness? We spoke earlier of the influence of this world. This world says we don't have to forgive and that we shouldn't forgive and that we should get even. People write bestselling books on unforgiveness.
If a husband or a wife harbors unforgiveness towards their spouse, they will have a miserable relationship. They will get to a point where something clicks and they just don't care anymore. Some stay until the kids are grown and then they go; others pack up and go before then. Unforgiveness destroys families. You and I are never more like our heavenly Father than when we forgive someone, especially when they don't deserve it. Unforgiveness results in broken fellowship. This is within the home between husband and wife, parents and children, between children, etc… this also applies outside the home. Turn to Matthew 18:21-35 and Matthew 6:12-15. We will offend each other, at some point. What keeps a relationship together is forgiveness. When we are Spirit filled, we will forgive; the husband will love and cherish his wife; the wife will lovingly submit; and the children will lovingly obey. We are to be fully surrendered to the Lord and then to each other. This is a choice that we have to make.
How is your family? None of us are perfect and we are to be becoming more like Christ every day. Don't make others do right, you do right. In reality, you cannot control anyone else, but you can control yourself. Be the Spirit filled person. In the family unit there are different roles and functions, Lord willing we will look at these in the coming weeks, starting with the husband next time.
Please keep this in mind, you can have the best family in the eyes of others, and even in your own eyes, but if Jesus Christ has not saved you, you will spend eternity suffering the wrath of God. It is important that we examine our families by Scripture, but it is even more important that we examine our lives by Scripture to make sure the Lord has saved us. "Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?" II Corinthians 13:5. We can know that the Lord has saved us. "These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God," I John 5:13. Lord willing, next time we will pick up in Ephesians 5:22-24, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
May the Lord grant us the grace to crucify our flesh, really examine ourselves by His Word, and submit to His Word. He is so good to us.
Please send questions and comments to richardsonbaprtistchurch@gmail.com.
Soli Deo Gloria.
