•Part 7
Ephesians 5:18-6:4
Probably one of the most misused words today is love. It is used in a variety of ways and often distorts the true meaning of love. Books about love and romance are written and people buy and read them. Movies are made about love and people buy and watch them. And of course we have Valentine's Day, which says if you truly love me you will get me chocolate, flowers, a nice card, you'll take me somewhere nice to eat and if you do all this I will feel loved. Sometimes people see others and want to be like them. I feel sorry for someone who has a spouse like this. Everything is superficial and for outward show. This can drive a wedge between two people. On the other side there are those who have no idea how to love one another. How sad it would be to grow old with someone and not know how to love each other. I heard of a man and a wife who both retired at the same time. He was a business man who travelled a lot and she was a flight stewardess who traveled a lot. They retired in this nice retirement community. She got off the phone and burst into tears, her husband asked her what was wrong. She said that her friend down the street was sitting down with her husband drinking hot tea and having pleasant conversations. So the husband told her to make some hot tea. She made the hot tea and excitedly brought it in the den and they both sat down drinking the hot tea, after about 5 minutes the husband told his wife to call up her friend and find out what they were talking about.
Love is not a feeling; it is a choice you make. True Biblical love does not fade or fail. When you get old it is still true. When the husband and wife are both Spirit filled Christians their view of love is radically transformed to a Biblical view. Being Spirit filled and Bible controlled is the greatest benefit for the family, especially for the husband and the wife. Your relationship is enriched. You are quick to forgive, slow to get angry, you are not in a competition, and you desire to be around each other as much as possible. Your intimacy is wonderful. When you look at each other you thank the Lord for His blessings upon your life.
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it," Ephesians 5:25. Jesus is our example; He is the Standard. It is obvious we need His help. Again, back up to verse 18, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit." If we are not Spirit filled, we cannot love our wives as Christ loved the church. "Love" in this verse is the Greek word "agapao" and means to love, to regard with strong affection. Willing to give up all for the one loved. Remember our example is Christ and His love for His bride, the church. This is different from phileo love which is to love, indicating feelings, warm affection, and the kind of love expressed by a kiss which is fruit from agapao love. We see this in Song of Solomon.
"Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them," Colossians 3:19. "Bitter" is to embitter; to make bitter, sharp; cruel; severe; as bitter enmity. Sharp, as words; reproachful; sarcastic. Sharp to the feeling; piercing; painful to the mind. What you say can hurt, and what you do not say can hurt. Be not bitter means to stop being bitter toward your wives and start loving your wives as Christ loved the church. Don't treat your wife as if she is inferior. Don't treat your wife as a door mat or as simply a baby maker. She is God's gift to you. Some of you may say the devil gave you your wife; these are some of the words that you need to change. She may be the devil in disguise, but you are to love her as Christ loved the church. This is very beneficial for you. "Let they fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love," Proverbs 5:18-19. "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD," Proverbs 18:22.
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it," Ephesians 5:25. How did Christ love the church? Unconditionally (Romans 8:35-39). Nothing and no one can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Christ's love is not and will not ever be toward another bride. His strong affection will not be stolen away by some harlot or by some hobby or by His work or His ministry. He lives to make intercession for His bride. His ministry starts with His bride. Christ's love for His bride is unchanging. "Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end," John 13:1. He loves His church to the uttermost, or forever more. His love is unchanging and unending toward His bride. We will grow old with Christ. We will go through good times and bad times with Christ. In sickness and in health Christ will never leave us nor forsake us. When our hair turns colors or turns loose Christ's love will be the same as it was from the beginning. His love for His bride doesn't fade or falter. He is longsuffering with His bride for she is the weaker vessel. He does not give His affection or conversation to another.
Men, it is vitally important that you have hedges of protection around you, your home, and your marriage. Remember, our culture says these hedges are stupid and are not needed. Our culture says these hedges are just holding you back and that you should have the freedom to speak with and have intimacy with whomever you want to. This is appealing to our flesh. Stop and think for a second of how costly and devastating this mind set is. How many friendly conversations have ended up destroying homes? Starts with no ill intent through a call, text, email, etc., then progresses and culminates in a physical affair. This is life shattering. The sweetness of the marriage is ripped apart; instead of trust and wonderful intimacy there is always doubt, and a withdrawing from each other. Sin divides, and sin is devastating. Men, do not do anything that will cause your wife to question your faithfulness to her, or your family. Be a one woman man. Look around at all the examples of men falling into sin and ruining their lives. Learn from them. When you see other women, view them as mothers, sisters, or daughters, not as a way to fulfill lustful passions. Sin goes further in that it gives the enemies of God a reason to blaspheme His holy name. Sin doesn't just affect the person in sin, it affects all around them; children, multiple families, etc.
We live in a culture that promotes living for self which means pleasing your self. People will say things like, "God wants you to be happy", but you won't find that in Scripture. What you will find is that God wants us to be obedient to His Word, even if it doesn't make us happy.
Please send questions and comments to richardsonbaptistchurch@gmail,com.
Soli Deo Gloria
