"Once I said to my mother: 'You would be happy if I just kept well-dressed and had good manners,' and she said: 'What else is there?'"
---Cy Twombly, painter and sculptor.
Soldiers on the shelf, "Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette," the 1952 edition, and "Etiquette," by Emily Post published in 1943, were at the ready in our den, all of my youth. And as if those hefty volumes were not sufficient, my mother, who had come of age in the 1940s and was a stickler for all things proper, presented me with a meticulous manilla folder brimming with supplementary material. Momma had labeled it, in pretty penmanship, "Entertaining - Serving - Table Settings."
One to do as I was told, I committed it to memory - what drudgery one summer. Having not peeked at these papers in over fifty years, I recently pulled out the folder. I kept it all these years. And there was the tutorial on the placement of silver, from oyster forks to a grapefruit spoon. Old school, Momma had both.
So, it was with alacrity that I accepted an invitation from friend Candy Jenkins to attend, in July, the inaugural session of Southern Belle Charm School, a fabulous program she co-founded with Larrilyn Hickman. Taking a page from the late Dixie Gallaspy who for decades operated the Smoky Creek Summer School for Girls - an etiquette school - the pair of friends collaborated, developing the perfect present-day program for young girls, ages nine through twelve.
Exuberant would be the best word to describe the attendees, and the directors. The wife of Richard Jenkins, Candy - a teacher by profession - is a natural with great talent, and Larrilyn, who is married to Chris Hickman of Plainview and whose bailiwick is fitness and finance, contributed her valuable skills. Together, the two - mothers and grandmothers in their own right -- are a dynamic duo. And Candy's right hand assistant Ouida Givens was by their side for the duration.
A three-day program which began on a Thursday at the Porch, an elegant extension of the Jenkins's lovely home at Springhill, kicked off with superb instruction on cordial introductions - top of the day to you - and perfect place settings.
And guest speaker Chelbe Scianna spoke on hospitality not only at home but in general as Christians. She also shared the traditions of other cultures. For example, in Russia flowers are brought in even numbers as a hostess gift, but for a funeral only an odd number of flowers are sent. And in Japan, guests remove their shoes at the door. This had a familiar ring. My mother was a lady before her time. When we came in from playing in the 1970s, my friends and I dropped our shoes at the door - a practice that has become more commonplace in our country in recent years.
Back to the Southern Belle Charm School, after dining alfresco, which gave the girls practice in using the table manners they had learned, there were break-out sessions with the girls divided into groups of four. Embracing the task, each set of girls set a beautiful table, properly placing the silver, crystal, and china and also folding the napkins - in a pretty palette. Then, with ardor, they picked and arranged flowers for their magnificent, but lovely and low, centerpieces. As Candy ably explained, "The asparagus fern is fabulous - it drapes over." One of my mother's go-to fillers, I might add. But the girls were unanimous - they were smitten with the unique napkin folds, and learning how to make them. As they clamored for more designs, I anticipate some beautifully set tables in our area in the future.
Madeline Brasher escorted one group of girls to the flower shed, deftly directing them in creating beautiful floral arrangements in baskets. A delightful experience, one in which her entourage flourished.
My cousin Jo Ann Magee Phelps gave an exciting cooking lesson, whipping up scrumptious baked goodies in the kitchen. It took willpower, on my part, to not abscond with an iced cupcake.
Larrilyn led another contingent at the hat bar, chock-a-block with flowers and ribbons, where they decorated sensational straw hats with flair. Their creations were in anticipation of the tea party on Saturday - the culmination of the class.
Meanwhile, having done exquisite calligraphy all her life, Candy expertly explored the curves and angles of the art with her team, teaching them how to construct the letters of the alphabet. And they were fast learners. Long-time educator Candy acknowledged, "They are a very artistic group." By school's end on Saturday, each group of four girls had rotated to the four fantastic centers.
On Friday, armed with a rack of stylish clothing, Nikki Watson of the Silver Leaf Boutique gave guidance on fashion, with a focus on choosing one's wardrobe and jewelry. She was quite popular, adding what my mother called polish. And royalty also arrived - Carissa Mikelonis, the Washington Parish Balloon Festival Queen, and Addison Goings, the Washington Parish Fair Queen. They affably described their reign - the work it takes to become queen and also the many hours required to represent their title. They also taught the charm school students how to properly strike a pose, an invaluable skill. The girls were galvanized.
And importantly, Directors Candy and Larrilyn taught the ten commandments for good manners. The students learned the value of being kind and respectful and grateful. Grace, if you will. I also heard an ebullient chorus of "please, thank you, and yes and no, ma'am." Refreshing, in today's world.
For the graduation celebration on Saturday, the young girls glistened, modeling what they had learned, including the elegant chapeaus they had created, for their parents. And striking the pose, they graciously introduced themselves.
Over the course of three delightful days, suffused with grace, Candy Jenkins and Larrilyn Hickman made charm school both fun and functional, transforming sixteen young girls into young ladies. No memorizing required.
