Once upon a time a young teenager rolled her eyes as she had to connect the wires to the VCR and television for yet another time because her parents had no clue how to do it. Little did she know that the technology age was fast approaching and one day her two year old grandchild would be able to navigate her phone with a tiny finger almost as well as she could.
And this is why I don't get "new" things with technology. That cocky teenager --- me --- is now lost at middle age when it comes to any of it.
But my cell phone was no longer able to do many tasks that newer phones were able to do in seconds, and my home computer from 2008 would no longer upgrade. My sons came over to help me out with everything and said, "You have just got to get all new stuff."
So, I did. I bought a new computer for my office that no longer requires the gigantic black tower that took up a third of the space. And I got a new cell phone that came with a watch phone. I told them at the store I didn't want to stay hours changing things over. And she asked, "How long ago did you buy a phone? You just have to let the two phones be next to each other in your purse." This made me giggle. And I then explained to her they need to add that new information on their commercials for us older people. It would be a selling point. And she tactfully explained that it was kind of common knowledge.
I then went home with my new phone synced from my old phone and my watch syncing with my new phone and my car syncing with my new watch and new phone and things buzzed and beeped and vibrated the whole twelve miles. And then I got home and set up my new computer while my watch was buzzing and vibrating and a ring had closed and I was encouraged to "keep going."
Now when I go into the city and type in the address I am going to, there is not just the cool Australian man who gives me guidance but a woman in a hot deep voice also. I think my car is talking to me and my phone is also talking to me. So, another son helped me program "home" into my car before I left his house in New Orleans to fix this, but the man and woman kept taking turns navigating me all the way through the crazy traffic.
My friend who was talking to me on the phone while the man and woman kept cutting in told me I could probably fix it if I….. My eyes began to glaze over so I quickly said, "I'm fine with both of them. Kind of keeps me company on the unfamiliar streets." The truth is I don't want to fool with it. Let them talk over each other. That's just a typical man and woman. And if I missed what he said she is going repeat it right after him.
And then when I stopped at TJMax and couldn't figure out how to stop the navigation. The female voice watch kept trying to direct me to turn left in 900 feet every time I changed aisles. But the male voice was silent because men hate to shop.
I will say that my sons have much more patience with me than I did back in the day when I had to constantly move around dusty cables and cords. They nodded and smiled when I butchered the new hash tag phase, got completely lost on Twitter, copied and pasted all their photos from Instagram and put them on Facebook because that's where the old people look at pictures. And I learned how to group text.
And now I am going to have to copy and paste this column to my editor because I have no clue where my things are being saved on here. Maybe I should call my ten year old grandson.
