The holidays are fast approaching; with baked goodies, overpriced turkeys, festive lights, and family get-togethers. It’s a magnificent time of the year for most, but for some...it’s stressful and sad.
Having lost both of my parents, during Christmas; I sort of ‘go through the motions’...enduring it all for my babies and grands. Once I dive into a particular part...let’s say, ‘looking at lights’, I’m fine. It’s the whole ‘getting started’ part that’s difficult. But I get through it every year, cry off and on, yet continue to make some happy memories along the way as well.
But that’s not what this article is about. This article is different, and hopefully, will offer a bit of insight into an ever stressful issue for our younger parents and couples.
The hardest part of being a parent, is NOT raising them. It’s letting them go. We spend years, teaching them about compromising, treating others fairly, and making sacrifices for the worthwhile good. They grow up, leave the nest, and all of a sudden...we have to start reaping what we have sown.
We demanded their respect then, but now we have to start giving it back. Don’t quit reading just yet...I’m getting there.
When our children become adults and get married; they attain a whole new family. A family who has holiday gatherings just like us. Here’s the tricky part. How does a young couple choose between two families? They can’t very well be in two places, at once. We raised them to be respectful...not to be super heroes.
My mama was a good woman, and Lord knows I miss her every day. But honey, she was ‘you know what’ bent, on everybody coming to her house for Thanksgiving. Every young’un and every young’un’s spouse was expected to be there. God love her, but on this...she did not budge. I always felt kind of bad for my sister-in-laws, because I knew that they wanted to share some of those Thanksgivings with their families too. Some would go to Mama’s for the day, and their mama’s for supper. But good gracious, that’s a whole lot of eatin’ for one day. When mine and James’ kids were still home, his parents actually came to Mama’s, so it worked out for us. If that’s a possibility, it works.
I always said, that when my babies grew up, that I wouldn’t put them in a position, where they would have to choose between families; thus adding stress to an already overwhelming time. I swore to myself, that I wouldn’t hog up all of the holidays. I mean, honestly...it’s Turkey Day...not Pig Day. These moments should be happy and joyous...not guilt ridden or upset.
With that said, James and I are taking our happy tails to the Silver Slipper on that day. We’re gonna lose a hundred bucks (still cheaper that cooking a big meal), eat at the buffet, and enjoy ourselves immensely. How do I feel about this? As James Brown shouted; I feel good! Hey, I’m thankful for my babies every day of the year. And I think that they’re thankful for me too. We don’t need casseroles, bloated stomachs and a destroyed kitchen to prove it.
As for Christmas; it’s a no brainer. Since I’m not the most festive person during that time anyway; I have happily handed that torch down to whoever wants it. All I ask for, is one day or night, with all of my babies. It doesn’t matter if it’s the eve before, the actual day, or two weeks beforehand. And I’ll get it. I always do.
The point that I’m trying to make, is that these young couples can’t be everywhere at the same time. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It doesn’t mean that you’re less important than someone else. It simply means that you’ve done your job. Now, it’s time for them to do theirs. And part of that job, is compromising. It’s not such a bad thing; as it simply means that even more people love them, than before. They have become who you raised them to be. Respectful of their significant others and their loved ones, mature enough to compromise and be fair, and above all...considerate. Savor that. It tastes better than that overpriced Turkey ever will.
