I do believe we are finally beginning to rise above a multitude of setbacks brought about by the pandemic. When the dust settled there seemed to be a blanket of negativity in society. Most occurrences in our life grant us the opportunity to choose to be positive or to be negative. That is why a recent article I read in a magazine hung around in my mind for several days, so I decided to share it with my readers.
The article was about resetting your relationship with joy. We seldom think or even use the word joy. Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D. explains, "Happiness really is more internal than external, so it's how you feel about yourself, other people, and the world around you. It's how you behave and think, and how you behave is an active process we cultivate daily."
So, we must work at eating well, exercising, watching our body fat, and now being happy? As I read on, it seemed somewhat common sense but great reminders.
We should all practice self-care. When I was a young mother, this was needed the most in my life, and I practiced it the least. It seemed there was no time for self-care when everyone in the house took all my time being cared for. And yet, we should all be bold in letting those around us understand there are times we must take the time to relax or exercise or read a book.
You see, when we wake up each day doing for others all the things we are expected to do there is a feeling of accomplishment; however, if we make time to rest, take quiet walks, we refill our resources of peace which feeds happiness.
The next suggestion is to find serenity in solitude. I was well into middle age before I grasped the importance and the ability to embrace being alone. Stepping away from the world in my younger years left me with what now they call FOMO (fear of missing out). That was even before cell phones. Once the children left home it took a matter of time to embrace turning everything off and reading or resting in sheer silence.
The third golden nugget of advice is one I work on to this day, and I firmly believe women work on this throughout their lives due to the very nature of being a nurturing female. For people to settle into a routine of being happy they must learn to set boundaries. Putting guardrails around one's time can sometimes feel awkward and even cold. And at the same time, we have no problem when our adult children set these same rails. As moms we even get excited to see them asserting themselves, and we expect it from others.
The fourth piece of advice was to nourish your connections. Women do a better job of this, it seems. We establish our "tribe" of friends. We form book clubs, exercise groups, after work rap sessions. This has a great impact on our emotional health and happiness and even our physical health.
The fifth and to me the most important advice I wish my younger self could have slowed down long enough to embrace. Go with gratitude. Looking back even the most frustrating days were filled with precious moments. The art of being grateful for the little things in life can wash away the strongest waves of negativity. And this takes an active effort that does require "work" to reprocess the thought patterns. We need to write down daily all the things to the smallest degree that we have to be grateful for, especially on those days we feel defeated. Write quick notes, emails, texts to those among us passing on a seed of positivity as well. Each night or morning for a matter of moments in bed when the world is still, think through these blessings and give thanks.
Now, as I write this, Bluey is blaring on my bedroom television and a pile of toys has been drsgged into my office because my three-year-old grandson keeps asking me if I am done with work yet. His play school was closed this morning and my day of practicing all the above has been quickly redirected. I keep trying to slurp on now-cold coffee and write my column while Daniel keeps also tapping on the keyboard. And I am grateful. I am blessed.
