Some days I find myself amazed that I have children in their early thirties. It is hard to believe because it seems like yesterday I was that age rather than twenty years ago. And as things occur in their lives so many memories flood back to me remembering just what it was like being that age. I keenly remember beginning into my thirties and suddenly losing that "I'm going to live forever" mentality we carry around in our teens and twenties. And with both of our older sons now having a wife and families that have arrived or are on the way, the new reality of mortality hits even stronger.
Why I stressed over the things I stressed over in my thirties is an enigma to me now. And when I look back on my fifties years from now, I may be saying the same thing. Each new stage in our lives brings its own believed burdens. The other day my second son who is married and expecting his first child spent quite some time with me on the phone discussing his most recent concerns.
Apparently there are a handful of people he graduated with who have been diagnosed with cancer. And being my analytical child he had figured out the math that 7% of the students he graduated with have received this diagnoses. According to his latest research colon cancer is on the rise in people he and his brother's age. And he attributes this to the foods his generation were fed when they were children.
For once I was able to reassure him that he was safe. If there was any junk children were fed when he was growing up, we could not have afforded it. We butchered a cow and processed deer meat. We grew vegetables in the garden and ate a lot of potatoes and rice. We never had soft drinks in the house. To this day my oldest son hates the smell of kool aid.
Back in those 90's fast food was a delicacy that they were rewarded if they had A's on their report card. For once our jokes about them growing up poor could alleviate some of this stress. I can't be sure that fast processed food is the cause of colon cancer in early middle agers. I really can't even be certain that colon cancer is on the rise in early middle agers because I remember being in my early thirties with the weight of a family on my shoulders and the mention of any illness sent me in a panic.
It seems to be a rite of passage that when we hit a certain age and lose that feeling of immortality the gap is quickly filled with worry about every ache and pain that begins to pop up when we don't pop out of bed quite like we once did. So, we talked this out and he eventually settled down about this colon issue once I explained you can't just get a colonoscopy to see what's in there when you are 31 and have absolutely no symptoms at all.
This brought our conversation to his concern about melanoma and how he was fair skinned and did have some moles he needed to get checked. That was an easy concern to nip in the bud and then he had to get off the phone to go work out at the gym and ride his bike to Abita Springs from Covington and back. We have a little under five months to go before the baby arrives.
He will then get the great joy of transforming his fears of something being wrong with him to everything being ok with the baby. It seems to be a natural process that makes me reassured of my old worries that now seemed silly. Building a family is a very stressful and enormous step. I think we worry about being healthy because of the responsibility of those depending on us. And I think for obvious reasons we worry about the health and well-being of our children. And then there comes being a Grandma and Grandpa. The aches and pains have moved in, the house is half way paid off, and the grandchildren, well that's what our children are for to do all the worrying so we get to play. My sweet son has a long way to go.
