I Timothy 3:4-5
It is the church’s responsibility to make sure the elders of the church are qualified. It is the elder's responsibility to make sure the church knows the Biblical qualifications of an elder. The only reason an elder wouldn't want the church to know, is if he is not qualified. Let's pick up in verse 4 and continue looking at the Biblical qualifications of an elder.
"One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity," I Timothy 3:4. The qualification in this verse is ruleth and means to stand before, i.e. (in rank), to preside, or (by implication) to practice:- maintain, be over, rule. This is also in the present tense and is to be done continually and repeatedly. He is to always rule his own house. There is a way he is to rule it. He is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. He is not to provoke his children to wrath but train them up in the care and admonition of the Lord. Here in I Timothy he is to rule well. "Well" in this verse means honesty, plus recover, (full) well. "House" is a household, family, those who live together in a house. Including the idea of household affairs. The elder (bishop) is to preside, maintain, and rule his own house. He must be actively involved in his house. His house consists of his household, if he had servants, etc… his family, wife and kids. And this also includes the idea of household affairs. He must be involved and leading the decisions that are being made in the home. He must be leading his home to become more like Jesus Christ. He must lead his home in Biblical things and in life general. He must do this well, he must do this fully and honestly. Where we lack in our home, we will also lack in taking care of the church of God. Let's turn to some well known Scriptures. I Samuel 1:3-4:22. This came about from how Eli ruled his own home. His sons may have learned how to keep face in front of others as they were growing up, but what went on at home became the norm at the temple in Shiloh; but even worse. His sons took it to the extreme. A man not ruling well his own home affects more than just his own home. What does it mean to rule well?
"Having his children in subjection with all gravity." Once our children have left our homes, we can no longer rule them. When someone tries to continue to rule their children after they have left the home the end result is chaos. But, while the children are in the home; they are subject to the authority of the head of the home. Children in subjection is a state of being under control or governed. If you put a governor on an engine, you are restraining that engine. This is for the protection of everyone. As that person grows and learns how to handle the power in their hands you open up the governor a little more. More freedom. Same thing with our children.
Children are to be in subjection, governed, with all gravity. This is with all honesty and seriousness.
This doesn't mean that the elder's children must be perfect, if this was the case then no one with children could be an elder in the Lords church. This means the children are fully governed, and if they transgress, (stepping over), they know there will be consequences. They don't get timeouts. The father must follow through, he must stand behind what he says. This means he must be careful in what he says. He mustn't make foolish vows. He must follow through, if he doesn't, his own house will not respect him, and therefore will not submit to him.
The father must be the parent, not the pal. This doesn't mean that he is not friendly and that he doesn't do things with his children. But if his children look at him as just another pal, they will not respect his authority. The household must also know the father can be trusted with things no one else should know; they must know they can go to him with questions; they must know they can confess their mistakes to him; they must also know he makes mistakes. His children should also know they can come to him for counsel; and that he will give them wise counsel. All of these things we just looked at carry over to overseeing the church of God. The church are the people.
"(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)," I Timothy 3:5. The church must know the elders will lead the church closer to the Lord; that the elders can be trusted; gives Biblical counsel; he is human which means he will make mistakes and confess them; that he is a man of his word; and if the sheep get into trouble that he will be coming to hold them accountable and in love instructing them to repent and reconcile them with the Lord and the Lords church. This is part of holding each other accountable. This may seem like a lot; it is. Go back to verse 1, "he desireth a good work." Remember, the word work "ergon" means toil (as an effort or occupation); (by implication) an act:- deed, doing, labour, work. A labourer is usually the job no one wants, though people often want the credit without the labour.
It is hard work being a husband, father, and an elder in the Lords church. This is one reason a pastor should never view where he is pastoring as a stepping stone. If that is the case that is how he will view the people. The church for the overseer is family. He sees the church as family. He rejoices and grieves. "I rejoiced greatly that I found of thy children walking in truth, as we have received a commandment from the Father," II John 1:4.
This is truly a joy. To see those you give your life to invest in doing right and growing. Of course, just like when his own children do wrong he is grieved, so it is with the church. The elder loves the church. He will not flee when the wolves come, and he will stand against heresies and false teachers. As he is willing to give his life for his personal family, he is also willing to give his life for his church family. He loves the church so much, he will stand against them when they are going the wrong way. Remember in I Samuel how Eli handled his home, his sons? He let them do what they wanted to do. He did the same thing with the church. I Samuel 2:22. If the pastor's children run the home, they'll run the church; if his wife runs the home she will run the church. "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths," Isaiah 3:12.
A man can be qualified in everything, but if he does not rule will his own home he is disqualified, according to the Bible, and he cannot be an elder in the Lord's church. His family can qualify or disqualify him. His wife has a big part in this. The children usually follow her lead. If she is disrespectful, they will be too; if she is rebellious and always questioning him, they will too. Please send questions and comments to richardsonbaptistchurch@gmail.com. Soli Deo Gloria.
