Matthew 18:15-22
"Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican," Matthew 18:15-17. Notice this is very personal (thy brother). The question comes up, how can my brother in Christ sin against me? There are a few ways. He can actually sin against you physically, or he can run you down, this would be sin against your character, or he can be in sin and you know about it. The last one should raise a few eye brows.
Notice whose responsibility it is to go to the sinning brother (go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone). Whoa! What about the elders in the church? Aren't they the ones who are to take care of these things? Obviously the elders have a part since they are overseers of the church of God, but at this point in the Scriptures it is the responsibility of the offended brother. Yes you. Let us read verse 15 again. I know this is not easy, but how much do you love the brethren? "We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death," I John 3:14. Matthew 18 is dealing with the children of God. If you truly love someone there are some things you will do.
If you truly love your children you will correct them. You correct them for their own good. "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes," Proverbs 13:24. There are many more Scriptures about biblically correcting your children. If you and I love the brethren, we will biblically correct them. This would include going to them and confronting them of their sin. Remember, we go to gain. The purpose in going is to gain thy brother (verse 15). This verse is not harmful, but very helpful. It helps us hold each other accountable. We live in a very private world. People like to hide a way in their own little cave. They say what they do is none of your business. Would you let your child who lives in your home tell you that? See, the local church is a family, not a social meeting place. We don't come here just to learn the Scriptures, we come here to fellowship, to learn about each other, but ultimately we are here to glorify the Lord. We glorify Him when we are obedient to the Scriptures.
Before we go to the brother in sin we better examine ourselves. Turn to Matthew 7:3-5. "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted," Galatians 6:1. This again is where we are holding each other accountable. No one is looking at someone else hoping they sin so they can confront them. If this is someone's attitude they are not loving their brother in Christ. When we go to someone we go in the spirit of meekness. We go grieved because a brother is in sin. We go to gain them back. The main emphasis in this verse is you go to gain. You do not run to the preacher, you do not put it out there on social media, and you do not act spiritual at a prayer meeting requesting prayer for the person in sin and spreading out their dirty laundry. Let me add this here, as soon as you start gossiping you have just qualified for church discipline. Amen.
The last part of verse 15 is great, "If he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother." Isn't this wonderful? You lovingly confronted this brother with his sin, he heard you, he repented of his sin, and you have gained your brother back. Something else here is that in this process you will grow closer with your brother. Your trust grows. Those who withdraw are often those who do not trust others. Yes, people hurt people, but not all people hurt other people. You cannot put everyone in the same basket. Nor can you use that as an excuse to disobey the Scriptures. We truly rejoice together when someone repents.
"But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established," Verse 16. Here is where you get other people who are spiritual to go with you. You do not go to gang up on anyone, but you go to gain the brother in sin. Remember that people are fallible. Some people hold grudges against others so they make things up or they exaggerate. You bring witnesses to establish everything that is said. Also, by bringing other people the person in sin sees that others are also concerned and want to help. I want to continue to remind us that we go to gain. This is why we cannot go mad, we must go grieved because of sin. Even with others going it is not a guarantee that the one is sin will hear. "Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man and he will love thee," Proverbs 9:8.
At this point if the person in sin will not repent he usually gets offended towards those who have come to him. Even though he is offended the church should not give up. Would you give up easily on someone you truly love? Of course not. "And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican," verse 17. You announce this to the church so that all the church will go to this person in the spirit of meekness. This doesn't mean that everyone goes at the same time and lines up outside this persons door, but rather that different people go at different times. At this point no one should go by themselves. When the whole church goes the person in sin will see a people who care about him. They aren't there to beat him up, but to gain him. We go to gain.
I pray I am never the one in sin, but if I am I hope those who come are there to gain me back. I hope they come in love and meekness. If I neglect to hear them, I hope they continue to obey the Scriptures and go to the next step, "But if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." This is very heart breaking. Turn to I Corinthians 5:9-11. It is at this point that the church has to take this person off of the church membership, and even not fellowship with this person. The reason is because the person in sin refuses to repent. If they continue in that lifestyle then that is evidence that they were not really saved to begin with. But what do we do if and when the person in sin does repent? We will find that out next time. Let us read Matthew 18:18-22 in preparation for next time. To God be the glory.
