It’s being reported that Americans are currently experiencing record numbers of anxiety issues. Of course, it is being linked to the aftermath of the Covid outbreak, but if you look at the current cost of groceries, homeowners' insurance, electricity, and interest rates it seems a bit obvious why young adults are dealing with worry and depression. I have always struggled with waves of anxiety and depression. It was inherited. Can't blame a rainy day or rough life, just hormone imbalances.
Most people with this learn to accommodate it as they get older. I was recently talking to a life coach on the issue she sees with clients being overwhelmed with packing for a trip. This seems to be a huge trigger for people. So, I explained to her how I overcame this when I had to go on big trips with my husband over the years. I would write down all the things I absolutely had to remember that I could not just run pick up when an ocean away. Like my driver's license or contact lenses.
It turned out the list was pretty short. Once I had checked those off, I bargained with myself that anything else forgotten could be replaced if not at a large department store, then at some village market. Once I adopted this technique my anxiety about packing ended.
Another way I overcame my anxiety was to write an agenda. And when life gets busy with work and family and personal commitments I sometimes end up with an agenda for an agenda. In fact, the other day a lady walked into one of my offices and said, "I have never seen that many agendas in my life." And the lady standing next to her agreed, and they both laughed hard. And I let them because another way I have overcome my anxiety is to not really care what other people think. If writing things down works for me, then that is what I do. And if compartmentalizing my family, work, and personal habit stacking then that is what I do.
I don't care so much anymore if I haven't gotten around to covering my gray. It is there, no need to lie about it. Our blueberry trees were burned up in the heat wave. They can be replaced. I have gained back eight of the twelve pounds I lost, and I keep having to roll over "to do" things on my "to do" list in my agendas because time seems to be a vital resource that continuously runs short. It will get done, or it won't, but will it matter in ten years?
Another thing I have found I do is to instantly jump to the worst-case scenario in life. The other day a friend called me who just flew back into the states. She lost her license and passport on the plane or European airport. I said, "Well, somebody is likely about to use your information to assassinate a highly important figure in the world." I then said, "Are you still there?" And she said, "Could you have thought of anything worse that could possibly happen?" And I told her no.
That is a part of the coping mechanism in overcoming anxiety. Jump to the absolute worse outcome and move on. When I explained this to her, she explained to me that that was a terrible way to live, and I agreed. But coping mechanisms aren't jolly things. They are ways to reroute a thought that can trigger an emotion.
After that conversation I got to thinking exactly how these mechanisms suddenly became so effective with me having changed no medications, and I realized my greatest coping skill of all. I grew older. I saw enough and experienced enough to measure exactly how energy worthy a situation should be and weighed out the need to spend that energy on more important things in my life. Nobody important died in the following weeks, and I assured her I would be her alibi if indeed that happened.
The downside is that for those who came before us, we did not listen, and the youngsters will not listen either. It is one of many learned behaviors humans must arrive at on their own. But I do see the tension ease from my sons' eyes when they unload, and I say, "The big things in your thirties, you will shake your head at in your forties, and you will likely forget by your fifties." Anxiety is a real thing, but it is just a thought stirring an emotion.
