Ephesians 5:18-6:4 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it," Ephesians 5:25. "And gave Himself for it." "Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood," Acts 20:28. "Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father," Galatians 1:4. "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me," Galatians 2:20. In being obedient to the Father and because of this strong love Christ has for His church He willingly gave Himself for His bride. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it," Ephesians 5:25.
Why did Christ give Himself for His bride? Let's look at verses 26 and 27. "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish," Ephesians 5:26-27. "Might sanctify" means to make clean, render pure. This is specifically speaking of the sanctifying influences of the Holy Spirit on the heart. What does this accomplish? This cleansing purges; to cleanse free from filth. It also is a washing which is the act of bathing, washing, ablution. Spoken of the washing of the Word of God as the cleansing instrument. Christ gave Himself that He might sanctify and cleanse His bride. This is beneficial for His bride. His Word is the cleansing instrument. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it," Ephesians 5:25.
It is our responsibility to give the Word of God to our families, and especially our wives. It "the Word" is the cleansing instrument. How sad it is to see families drop out of church and not stay in the Word, over time there is no cleansing, and the result is a miserable family, and one usually leaves the other. You end up with a family ripped apart: and much regret. The first thing the husband must do is be a doer of the word, not just a hearer of the word. "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word," Psalm 119:9. "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Psalm 119:11.
The Word of God is the cleansing instrument, not you and I. We are to be faithful to give the Word and live what we give. We are to be lights, not baseball bats. We are to give the Word of God, we are to know the Word of God, and we are to obey the Word of God. "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church," I Corinthians 14:34-35. "Will learn" means to understand. If they have a question about "any thing" that they are learning at church they should ask their husbands at home. And he better make sure he is giving the biblical answer. This may require time to study which means the husband will have to devote much time and effort to fulfill his biblical duty.
The word "ask" in verse 35 means to inquire, seek: - ask (after, questions), demand, desire, question. To ask; inquire of, beg of. She is to ask her husband at home. This is great in that it should provoke the husband to study. This puts a tremendous responsibility on the husband. We are held accountable to God for what we say. The answer we give to our wives will be the answer she will give to our kids. It would be better for you to have a millstone hung about your neck and to be cast into the water than to offend one of these little ones. This is not something to take lightly or to shoot from the hip; don't guess.
The pastor is not the spiritual leader of your home. That's not his place. The Sunday school teacher is not the spiritual leader of your children. Husbands, we are the spiritual leaders of our homes. This means we must be "verse 18", and that we must constantly give ourselves over to the Word of God. We must labour in the Word and make time for the Word. "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth," II Timothy 2:15. This means we must take inventory of our lives: what are those things that is keeping us from loving our wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it? Where are we compromising? This could be a number of things. The example Christ gave us is He always sought the Fathers will, this means God is to be preeminent in our lives. The next example Christ gave us is giving Himself for His bride, this means our wife comes after God. How many wives are longing for their husbands to love them? Some men love and give themselves to their work, their hobbies, their friends, their ministry, etc… and the wife is left home alone, and feeling used at night. The result is a wife who is miserable, and a marriage that is on the edge of destruction.
We are to give our wives the Word, this purifies her, and she grows in knowledge. She becomes more like Christ, this is beneficial for you. Being a husband is not a part-time job, it's a full time job. We must do this in-spite of the sin nature, in the midst of evil influences, and even if our wives don't want us to. Again, we must be lights, not baseball bats. We must encourage the reading of God's Word and welcome questions from our wives and our children. This also helps us grow.
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband," Ephesians 5:28-33.
What does it mean to nourish? In verse 29 it means to support; to maintain by feeding. To cherish, to comfort. To educate; to instruct; to promote growth attainments. You take care of what you love (verse 28). You also cherish what you love. This means to treat with tenderness and affection; to give warmth, ease or comfort. In verses 29 and 31 the words "one flesh" is speaking of the union of husband and wife as one flesh (Mark 10:1-8). Husbands and wives, remember, Paul is using the marriage as an example of Christ and His church (verse 32).
In verse 33 we see love and respect. We need the Lord to help us, and I am thankful He does. We are to love and to lead, as Christ loves and leads us by His Word. When we love we will support, encourage, and treat with tenderness our wives and our children. We will also instruct and educate them in the Word of God so that they will be grounded and won't be carried away with strange doctrines. This is our responsibility. We can look at ourselves and say we can't do this. Of our own power you are right, we can't. Let's close by going back to verse 18, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit."
Please send questions and comments to richardsonbaptistchurch@gmail.com.
Soli Deo Gloria.
