I’ve come to the conclusion that grown folks are sneakier than young’uns. I know, I know...y’all are already shaking your heads in disagreement, but hear me out.
Young people haven’t been alive long enough to acquire the key requirements necessary for maximum sneakiness. They talk too much, and listen too little. As we get older; we learn how to hush (most of us, anyway). This is partly due to wisdom, and partly due to the fact that we’re tired and distracted by things like chest pains, acid reflux and irregular bowel movements.
Yes, we mainly discuss our health woes. We do, however, manage to brag about the grandbabies, discuss the weather, and complain about politics, from time to time too, though. We older folks (most of us) keep the ‘heavy’ at home, and not ‘air’ our laundry for all to see.
Young folks want to appear naughtier than they really are, to impress their peers. Older folks, however, want to appear better than they truly are, to impress theirs. And let’s face it: It’s easier to appear ‘bad’, than it is to appear ‘good’, so yes...we’re sneakier.
Last week, my friend Tyffani sked if I would sit in the old Mt. Hermon School at Mile Branch Settlement at the Fairgrounds. Some children were having a field trip, and visiting the grounds.
Dressed in a long skirt, white ruffled blouse, with a colorful sun bonnet on my head, I still managed to look like I should be in the pea field, as opposed to being a school teacher. Four groups of twenty or more children came through.
Each group had two or three that ‘spilt the tea’ (they were talkers, y’all). ‘What’s that stick for’? ‘Well, back in the old days, if a student misbehaved, they might get a switch’. Lord help me. Here we go. ‘My mom would be so mad. I just have to go to bed without supper.’ Then she leaned in, and quietly said, ‘It’s okay ‘cause she don’t cook good’.
Then another...oh, we’re not done. I pointed out that the flag on the wall only had 38 stars, and I asked if they knew why. Lord. ‘Because that’s the old states...not the new ones. Which one is the United state? My dad said that one’s the best.’
Y’all, I enjoyed this day WAY too much. And, yet another. ‘What’s that Dunce hat for?’ After explaining that it was worn by a student, who misbehaved, they each wanted to wear it. ‘I’m the best dunce, dude’. ‘No, you’re not; you don’t ever get in trouble.’ ‘Yes, I do! Remember when I threw that rock?’ Well, if he forgot, he was reminded...and probably told the world. See what I mean? They tell it ALL.
They were a good group of kids, and seemed to really enjoy the historical walk into the past. They were inquisitive and awed by the authenticity of the surroundings...the wood stove, the wooden desks, the old textbooks...and even the lady in the bonnet.
What they didn’t see...was the old lady’s cell phone (with the ringer off), discreetly hidden under her chair cushion. Hey, I needed to feel the vibration, if it rang. Imagine their questions if they had seen that phone? Oh no, Honey. I’m sneakier than that. And we’re not even gonna discuss the loaded tea, poured into a mason jar.
